


Existence

by idrilhadhafang



Series: The Female Character Restoration Project [12]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amilyn Holdo Lives, Bisexual Female Character, F/F, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Leia Organa Deserves Better, Leia Organa Needs a Hug, Nightmares, Past Character Death, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, that being Luke and Han
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:41:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26576170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: It is just to be, isn’t it?
Relationships: Amilyn Holdo/Leia Organa
Series: The Female Character Restoration Project [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1909759
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13
Collections: Ladies Bingo





	Existence

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Loss
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Leia awakes from another nightmare about losing someone — this time Amilyn.   
  
Amilyn’s sleeping soundly in the next room, thank the Force. Leia’s glad for that; after all, she thinks, she isn’t about to wake Amilyn with her nightmares. Or anyone else.   
  
She shudders to think of how close she came to losing Amilyn. If Amilyn hadn’t gotten to the escape pods in time. If she’d been too late. Another friend, if not more than that. Amilyn, who's been nothing but devoted to her in the best of times, even when Leia has proved that she is, in the end, nothing but human.  
  
Human. To be human — to exist in general — is to be flawed, to be afraid. That Leia knows. To exist is to feel — grief over those misguided and dead in your life. To exist is just to be — and they’re both still here, aren’f they?   
  
Amilyn enters, clad in a nightgown that seems more comfortable than her elaborate purple dress. “I thought I’d see you,” she says. “Just to make sure you’re all right.”  
  
“I’m managing.” _Disturbances and darkness and death..._ “I admit that I was...scared. Of losing you.”  
  
“I’m here.” Amilyn smiles, but it seems to be more like she’s forcing it for Leia.   
  
“Amilyn, you don’t have to force anything for me. Really.” Leia sighs as she speaks. “It’s been a long day.”  
  
She doesn’t have to say anything about Ben. About Luke. About how the Resistance has just been whittled down to a handful.   
  
Amilyn already knows.  
  
“You’re not a bad mother,” Amilyn says, “For...for working in the Senate. I know that you’ve had your worries about that.”  
  
“Slightly.”  
  
“You are strong, Leia. I said that everything I learned was from you, and that’s not really a lie.” A beat. “I may not have done everything right, but I do care for you. With all I am.”  
  
“Amilyn...” Leia won’t deny she’s afraid. She remembers a shift in the Force that meant Han’s death. Everything else. If Amilyn slips away, like they did...  
  
“I do.” Amilyn seems so full of conviction now. "I made my choice, Leia, and whatever happens out there, I’ll be there by your side.”  
  
Leia nods. “I will too. I love you too, Amilyn. More than you know.”  
  
She leans in to rest her head on Amilyn’s shoulder, feeling, finally, like she can lay her burdens down. 


End file.
